Though Cowards Flinch

(Warning: this article is not really amusing except to people with a weird sense of humour like me)

Tensions between the Weather and BA mounted today as the High Court struck down an attempted Snow as illegal.

The move was based on a technicality, stipulating that many of the snowflakes provided with ballots were due to voluntarily melt long before the delay to passengers began.

Snow on a Luton runway vowed to continue with the action, even if it meant engaging in wildcat snow. One spokesman said, “BA bosses have made very clear they do not wish to negotiate. We therefore have no further option but to sit on the runway, halting all air traffic.”

BA boss Willie Wonka emerged from the courtroom triumphant. “This is a victory for the million people travelling home this Christmas. British Airways will return to profitability. Our customers have spoken – they will not accept the old-style snow to which the Weather is trying to return us”.

But to passengers at many airports in the midst of delays and cancelled flights due to wildcat snow, these words will sound hollow.

Pressed on the question of wildcat snow, Wonka admitted, “Having contingencies in place for snow in December would cost too much. So of course we haven’t.”

In other news, twelve thousand five hundred cabin crew members of Unite have decided to join up with the Weather, one pilot declaring, “Snow has managed to do what Unite couldn’t, so it’s time to go!”