TCF brings you its latest rundown: Top 10 terrible Tory councils of the last 10 weeks. We know you love pointless list.
The scoring process is very, very clever, and probably too hard for you to understand, but generally systematic evilness scores better than rank incompetence, which in turn scores more than individual stupidity. There are extra points for hypocrisy-while-being-evil-or-stupid, and extra style points for crass stupidity beyond human reason.
So without further do…..
10. Kicking off a very decent showing for London Tory Councils, we have Cameron’s favourite borough, Kensington and Chelsea. K&C make it in at number 10 with the news that they’ve misused millions of pounds on consultancy contracts, then got a firm of consultants in to tell them how badly they’ve misused the money, then held the meeting about it in secret because it’s not “in the public interest” for people to know how they’ve misused all the money.
This scores good points for large amounts of money wasted, but loses out because wasting money on consultants is not very imaginative stupidity. Still, a decent effort.
9. Coming in at number 9 we have little old Mendip District Council. The West Country Tories have been put forward for the list by David Edwards, who feels they should be in there on account of their “general, smug Tory incompetence”. He’s not sure why they’re so smug, and how they manage to be quite so incompetent when they’ve outsourced most of their services anyway.
Normally, generic smug incompetence wouldn’t get you into this list, but we’ve made an exception here because the Mendip Tories did try to get a wizard elected to Council, presumably in the belief that a Tory Council is a bit like Hogwarts, but with less good bin collections.
No really, a wizard,who says he is able “to commune with both tree and sprite alike”. Not voters, though. He lost.
8. Into the top 10 with a very late run is Trafford Borough Council. They’re generally just run-of-the-mill shocking, but news that one of their Tories has been charged with seven counts of benefit fraud.
Now normally this kind of alleged criminality, however hypocritical, wouldn’t get you anywhere near the list, but there’s been special pleading from Matt Finnegan, who points out that Trafford should score higher for making this guy a Party Whip, charged with keeping up standards within his group.
7. Those Shropshire Tories are in at number 7, with an impressively brazen attempt to clamp down on free speech, combined with a high level of condescension to their residents. They score highly for celebrity factor also, having banned Sally Bercow from going into one of the day centres they are planning to close, despite her having been personally invited in there by a user of the centre. They met in the car park instead. Extra points go to the Shropshire Tories, as they’d done an assiduous practice run, by trying to ban journalist Kate Belgrave a few months earlier.
(Note, this is actually outside the time period, but I didn’t notice till now and I’m not changing it.)
6. Plymouth Tories are in at a very respectable number 6, with their attempt to derecognise trade unions. Good points were awarded for a total lack of understanding about what trade unions do, and slavish adherence to the rightwing line.
5. Breaking into the top 5, just ahead of their right-wing nutter colleagues along the South coast, come Southampton’s Tories, intent on privatising the whole of the Council just months after forcing Council staff to take a massive pay cut (i.e. making the sale more attractive to the private sector). Good points for the double whammy, though a little too conventionally 1980s-style to get higher up the list.
4. Essex Tories make a really good showing this time around, displaying great imagination with methods of making people destitute, and throwing some ex-leader rank hypocrisy in for measure.
This all concerns Lord Hanningfield, ex-Council leader and now ex-prisoner, who has declared himself “destitute”, while knowing full well that his erstwhile colleagues are developing plans to make thousands of residents properly destitute by “localising” control of welfare benefits, then slashing both amounts paid and tightening eligibility criteria.
Impressive viciousness combined with the ideological drive to become a Tory flagship for uncaring Conservatism and economic illiteracy.
3. Storming in at number 3 are the famously Thatcherite Tory crew in Wandsworth. They’ve come up with a scheme to throw you out of your home if you can’t get a job if, just for example, there aren’t any jobs.
Straightforward ignorance, combined with a sadistic streak always scores well, but Wandsworth’s Tories score especially highly because their new policy is in apparent total contradiction to the government’s policy of chucking you out of your home if you do get a decent job.
2. What Wandsworth Tories have done, Barnet’s Tories have done better, and this gets them close to the coveted top spot.
Barnet have come up with a massively creative plan (item 7), under which people under 25 get chucked out of their home if they don’t get a job, BUT ALSO if they do get a decent one, with the limit for eligibility for a council home to be set at a little less household median income for the area (currently at £32,580 per year).
They manage this impressive mix of total illogicality and direct discrimination against a specific age group within the same brief document, and it won’t be long now before young people desperate to stay in their home are either forced to work for free in,- ooh let’s say Tesco’s – or are trying desperately to earn less for their family.
1. It’s got to be a pretty impressive tory entry to come in at number 1 on this, and do we have a treat for you.
Straight in at number 1 is West Lancashire Borough Council, who beating all previous tales of right-wing thuggery and bonkerness hands down with a startling display of ineptitude.
The Tories in West Lancashire have managed to completely ignore the fact that around about 20% of their landmass is likely to disappear underwater by 2015.
This will happen under Environment Agency plans to turn off two pumping stations and allow once-reclaimed but now rich horticultural land to return to unfarmable marsh. This would cost thousands of jobs in the horticulture industry, and disrupt thousands of lives. Even the dozy local Tory MP, who claimed at a meeting in early November that it was the first she’d heard of it (the consultation began on 29th September), has briefly woken up.
But not those West Lancs Tories.
Despite having had an official representative on the Environment Agency steering group, they apparently haven’t noticed that a large part of their borough is due to be permanently flooded, and failed to put the matter on this week’s Cabinet agenda, or any other agenda (you’d have thought the Environment Committee might want a look?). Meanwhile, in neighbouring Sefton the matter was fully discussed a month ago, and officers instructed on what to do.
Losing a fifth of your borough’s landmass without even noticing is, I think you’d agree, incompetent even by Tory standards, and this makes the West Lancs Tories number 1 in my book.
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