Though Cowards Flinch

Looks spookily like George Galloway in this picture

Hidden somewhere within a series of letters addressed to Bishop Creighton, Lord Acton made examples of powerful and influential men (the King, to name one example, and the Pope) insisting that in cases of moral criminality, they were not above the law – the opinion seemingly held by his interlocutor.

‘Here are the greatest names coupled with the greatest crimes’ Lord Acton exclaimed of those highly authoritative men –  ’you would spare those criminals, for some mysterious reason. I would hang them higher than Haman, for reasons of quite obvious justice, still more, still higher for the sake of historical science.’

Creighton fetishised these men somewhat, until to him it seemed they were immune to laws all others were subject to. Lord Acton had no truck with this; to the extent where he distrusted those who exercised influence. ‘Great men’, he said, ‘are almost always bad men’.

What preceded this was a quote Lord Acton is now most infamously known for: ‘Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.’

But Lord Acton was wrong, right? If “[p]ower tends to corrupt,” then surely “absolute power” only has a tendency to corrupt absolutely.

By using the word ‘tends’ Acton acknowledges that corruption is not a necessary element of power, but that the tendency is there. However in the claim that follows, Acton seems to imply that corruption is a logical necessity of power.

Post-hoc (corruption), ergo propter hoc (power).

He contradicts himself.

Lord Acton says the word ‘and’ before adding ‘power corrupts absolutely’, where the word but would appear better suited (though of course he would still be wrong, assuming he sticks with the belief that power tends to corrupt).

Dropping the word tendency in the second part of Acton’s infamous line shows his logic to be flawed – perhaps Alex Callinicos, leading member of the Socialist Workers’ Party and great grandson of Lord Acton, consequently felt duty bound to be the secretary of the International Socialist Tendency…

In a case that could have philosophical idealists wetting themselves for decades to come, by naming something before the fact of it, we should adapt to the Conservative attempt at framing inheritance tax as a ‘death tax’. Here’s my proposal:

Step 1. We suspend habeas corpus for those who use the phrase ‘death tax’, or any other such attempts to name a fairly banal law so as to inspire fevered opposition to it. So the entire Tory Party, to begin with, starting with Lansley.

Step 2. We execute all the aforesaid and confiscate all their property, to be liquidated and used to fund universal comprehensive, elderly care. This programme will be called the “Live Long and Prosper Tax”.

Step 3. We collect the votes of elderly people and Trekkies everywhere and guarantee victory at the next general election.

Step 4. (Optional) We liquify the remains of all those who have died (or committed suicide through stupid political posturing) and use this to feed the living, who we will connect to a giant virtual reality machine in which Gore was elected President, communism works and nobody is offended ever.

We will call this the “Matrix Tax”.

Simple.

Hero of the Working Class: Feminist Division

(Kicking off our International Women’s Day celebration is an article by the excellent Anna Chen, who writes at the Madam Miaow blog. Her traditional shotgun and scalpel are much in evidence!)

When Though Cowards Flinch asked me to write something for International Women’s Day, I was flummoxed by the request. What’s to write about? Everything seems to have reached a fine old equilibrium. Plenty of babes in government, the ruling class stuffed to the brim with bosses of the female persuasion …

That nice Tessa Jowell could even afford to give her old man the heave-ho when he was caught embarrassing her with his alleged acceptance of largesse off Silvio Berlusconi, instead of hanging on timidly as the little woman was wont to do in days of old (not that embarrassment ever inhibited Tony and Cherie from snuffling in that particular hospitality trough). No, these women can snaffle their own Hérmes Birkins, thank you very much.  And cheers for the goody-bag.

In the absence of anyone of high calibre on the domestic front, Katie Price and her high calibre domestic frontage is proving an outstanding role model for women.

Seriously.

She’s the only contender. While WAGs and slebs are publicly humiliated by their chaps’ shagathons and beatings, Katie demands a man who worships the ground ‘pon which she walks. And, thanks to breast implant reduction, she now has less need to worry about said upholstery exploding under low pressure at high altitude when she flies. How liberating is that? Plus she’s authored more books than she’s read. Suck on that, literary losers (I address myself there).

And, glory be, in this age of the Credit Crunch we now have equal pay what with male friends getting their wages lowered to the level of women. Don’t tell me we haven’t made progress.

Incidence of rape is down, according to UK prosecution figures. I may very well be able to walk out naked on a Saturday night safe in the knowledge that chivalry is flourishing.  And the only violation will be of the parking laws when I hurtle onto the kerb across two residents’ parking bays because we ladies can’t drive, innit? No more the irrational fear of the rogue minicab driver, or groundless suspicion of the leering lothario at the bar and his secret stash of Rohypnol.

Don’t forget: if you do find yourself sexually assaulted on a date and you lack witnesses, polaroids or video demonstrating you yelled “No!” in a manner that did not mean, “Yes, I’m up for it, big boy”, then you probably brought it on yourself. And so say an increasing number of women. Right on sistaz!

Good to see that women still luxuriate in the patronage of boyfriends and partners able to dole out privileges on the basis of comfort  and dubious merit.  Note Kate Moss and her scraggy range of schmatte tossed together at the behest of her Top Shop “mentor”, the tax-avoiding Monaco-residing Philip Green, in return for much moolah paid into the Moss coffers and which is said to have hastened the departure of the woman who’d dragged the clothing emporium out of the doldrums, Jane Shepherdson.

This levelling of the playing field has been so successful in bringing the gurls in from oblivion or penury that it’s even been adopted by the left.  Ah yes, I well remember being told by one bit of socialist totty, “I’m doing your job now”, once I’d worked unpaid around the clock for la causa and something was up for grabs. She never did do the serious work but she enjoyed the fruits of my labour, proving that women can do whatever a man can do and do it better.. Cheers, comrade.

Elsewhere, lionesses of feminism decry sexist behaviour unless it’s their blokes who’re doing the exploitation. (Where’re my wages, Lindz?)

Nothing like support from fellow women in the movement. And, indeed, that was nuthin’ like it.

No, my respect goes to the women in real danger across the world, living under oppression every day and fighting to resist it. All power to you in your struggle, sisters, on International Women’s Day.