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Stupid festive stories

A Christmas tree in OxfordI’m seriously debating giving awards this Christmas for the most ridiculous stories of the festive season. Believe me, there will be plenty. It still only late November and already they’re coming thick and fast. There’s one about how atheists and agnostics should relish Thanksgiving as it is not religious and should, while doing so, think of the role of chance in their lives.

Occasionally I wonder if the liberal-left is its own worst enemy in some respects. Who gives a fig if Christmas or Easter are religious? It’s time off, or at least extra pay. There’s an excuse to eat chocolate and not feel bad, to make really sumptuous dinners and not feel like you have to run a marathon immediately afterwards to work off the poundage.

As the most militant atheist in the universe, I give my official seal of approval to Christmas, Easter and any other holiday the government introduces if it means time off. Moreover, I don’t think I’ve ever met an atheist or agnostic who adopts the touchy-feely multiculturalist idea that all holidays should fit all religious bills and none. Does anyone really care? No.

You know why? Because most atheists and agnostics come from religious backgrounds. So put off have they been by the dire irrationality and stupidity demonstrated by so many adherents to their former religion that they left it. Yet we still enjoy meeting up with the family and getting semi-sozzled. The last part is mandatory as it makes family get togethers more tolerable.

Then there is an article by Dave Hill about newspapers reporting how Christmas is being banned. Fresh from stories about Birmingham’s Winterval “replacement” for Christmas, the Daily Mail has apparently moved on to scream about Oxford’s “Winter Light” festival. This festival is to commercialize the switching on of the lights. Some of those lights will be on, you guessed it, a bloody Christmas tree, one of which can be seen in the picture above, standing outside Westgate shopping centre.

Better still, VisitOxford.org have a list of events coming up over the next few weeks to celebrate Christmas; Christmas card making, Christmas elves visiting, Christmas table arrangement classes, Christmas Victorian decoration making, a Santa’s Snow Trail and the annual Christmas tour at the Ashmolean museum. Yeah, Christmas is definitely under threat in the city with more Anglican churches than several small countries put together.

A really cynical part of me detests the Christmas-is-banned story not because of the reactionary, anti-immigrant fervour it is intended to whip up but because so many of the other faiths feel dragooned into denying that Christmas is banned. Every single story, for a pretence at not being utterly racist, features a mullah or rabbi or some other religious official making a proclamation in defence of Christmas.

The protestations of inter-faith solidarity are not there to be balanced, they are there as a sick subordination of other faiths to Christianity. They must prostrate themselves before Christmas lest they be accused by the media of trying to get it banned. More worrying still, people actually believe a lot of this rubbish. Like Christmas, it seems to appear earlier each year.

So, at some point in December, having collated yet more of this utter nonsense, an award shall be handed out for the most egregious example. Keep reading; we’ll have schools banning Christmas cards, councils refusing to serve mince pies and muslims protesting that they find reindeer offensive. Meanwhile we should all remember the true meaning of Christmas. Santa died for our sins and we must celebrate his birth through the medium of iced pudding and custard.


Categories: General Politics
  1. sonofajoiner
    November 30, 2008 at 4:07 am

    I reckon there’ll be a fair few of these bullshit stories this year, what with the economy in the toilet and councils/businesses looking to cut back in the purse dept. Decorations and office parties will be the first thing whilst the press bandy about accusations of spinelessness over “fear of causing offence to ‘other faiths’ coughmuslimscough”.

    Over the last couple of years I have had to contend with my mother suspiciously eyeing the increasingly impoverished xmas display in our local shopping centre and muttering darkly that ‘this is supposed to be a christian country’. Thing is, she’s an atheist herself so I’m forced to conclude that either she reads the Mail in secret or she’s actually losing her mind. The 2 are not mutually exclusive of course!

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